OHHHHHHHH, boy. We all talk about it, then we all turn around and immediately do it ourselves.
Dun, dun, dunnnnn...trolling! I do it. You do it. We ALL do it at some point. And if you're already offended...well, I'm probably talking about you.
It comes in many forms. We do it on our own pages, on other people's pages, on pages we follow, to celebrities, to strangers, to friends and family.
But guys, it's out of control. It's one thing to have a heated debate about a concept, or idea with someone you don't share an ideology with. That's great! That's healthy! It's even fun if you do it correctly!
I started this blog in an effort to share my life as an adult- to share the ups and downs and everything in between. I'm not seeing a lot of adults online, though. Sure, a lot of them are over the age of eighteen. Most of them, actually, are over the age of thirty...
Here's the deal: We were dropped into a universe that allows us to be relatively anonymous. We can say things behind a screen and get them off of our chest at the drop of a hat, to a huge audience. Whether or not that's actually helpful or healthy is debatable. I'm mainly on the side of, "nope!" But I digress.
Here's what I decided to do- for myself and for whomever else may need this. I decided to write a list of how to be a, "BIH"...a, "Better Internet Human."
Step 1:
Remember that people are whole beings.
On the internet, we see snippets. We see one line, one post, one moment in time. We don't get to see the whole person with their mannerisms and facial expressions. We don't get to remember that they like the color blue, or find out that they have firefighters in their family like we do. We don't get to know that they have two kids and one has severe disabilities. Or that they've been trying to have children for 10 years with no luck. We don't know that they just lost their mom. Or that they're caring for an ailing sibling. We don't know that they just won an award. Or that they are the most successful person in their field on their side of the country.
The entirety of what we know about them in that moment is based on that snippet. This, of course, falls into categories- people that we know in person (friends, family, or acquaintances,) or people that we don't know in person.
This new era of social media comment wars have led us to a place where we're bonding with strangers but unfriending our family. Doesn't that strike anyone as weird? The former, of course, is why we loved social media as a concept to begin with. We have the ability to easily communicate with people from around the globe with the click of a button. But this also means that people you don't know at all see tiny little portions of who you are with no context- and vice versa.
So how do we solve this? By giving ourselves a little bit of perspective. By asking, "is it worth it?" If you are about to post about what an IDIOT this guy is, ask yourself why you're doing it, and if the end result is really worth it. And as a side note- is he really an idiot? Or does he just disagree with you? Can you share your point of view in a way that will help him learn, instead of insulting HIM?
Which leads me to...
Step 2:
Share, don't insult.
It seems like we've lost the ability to have constructive, solution and idea-oriented conversations. Now we have arguments about people and groups. Remember how Eleanor Roosevelt made great commentary on small people (who discuss other people,) verses great people (who discuss ideas?) Well let's agree to be the latter. Instead of seeing someone's statement and telling them how horribly stupid they are, (unless of course, your goal IS to start something...or...shut it down? Oh, who am I kidding, been there.) Try to come at the situation by attacking the ideas they're representing- not the people themselves. I was going to list some names that are used in this context, but I'd better not give anyone any ideas.
Which leads me to...
Step 3:
Stop assuming that everyone in the whole world falls into a box.
Did you know that pro-gun, pro-gay marriage, pro-abortion people exist in the world? I know, it's shocking (unless you're one of them, in which case, "Uhhh, hello? Right here!") Did you know that people who are Christian and pro-gay marriage exist? No, like ACTUALLY Christian. Yep. Did you know that there are religious Jews with Muslim best friends? (I have many! They're awesome.) Did you know that there are Liberals who own guns and are members of the NRA?
My point is that just because you hear one opinion from one person in one moment, it doesn't mean that you can automatically guess whatever else they believe. Or, frankly, that you understand the complexity of that particular belief. When every issue becomes a, "hot-button" one, and we all have opinions on all of them- keeping step 1 in mind, means that we almost never fit into a box. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, it's a pretty awesome thing. It means that we can find things in common with all kinds of people- sometimes people we never thought we'd have anything in common with.
So the solution here is to try freaking harder! No, I'm serious. Go out of your way to learn about the people you know in real life. Figure out the boxes they check, if it's important to you. Appreciate them for the complex and interesting human being that they are. And when they make a statement that pisses you off? Use the rest of the information that you now know about them to remind yourself why you thought they were awesome in the first place. STICK TO THOSE THINGS! That's what we did before the invention of the internet, remember?
And if they're strangers? Assume that you know nothing about them. Because you don't.
Finally...
Here's what I am not trying to do:
Censor you.
Here's what I am trying to do:
Problem solve.
Huh?
What I mean is- we're not goal-oriented anymore- it almost feels like a lot of the time we just want to hear ourselves talk. Our only goal is either to be mean, or to find the droves of people who agree with us and everyone else can sit on it and rotate. It's GREAT to be in a community. It's awesome to find like-minded people! It's really awesome when these people are far away and you would have never had a chance to meet them without the internet.
But not so great? This hole that we've yelled ourselves into. I see it seeping into real life. Friends, family members, people you meet in the middle of Target, (yes, this happened.) ENOUGH! So to stop this, we need to all agree to be BIH. Please, and thank you.
Love,
LadySingin'
